What stops you getting there?
From early childhood, we develop behaviours and patterns of relating to the other people in our lives. These ways of relating, useful at that time, may not continue to be so as we age.
While some of these behaviours will just no longer be required, others may be more harmful. They may be detrimental to current relationships and continually prevent us from achieving what we want.
And because they have become ingrained within us - a habit - we may find it hard to be, or think we can be, any different.